The Enneagram for Relationships

Logo for Joy Hosey's Enneagram for Relationships

Click her for latest class flier!

Note that the January 2014 class is OPEN TO ALL, not just couples.

  •   Feeling frustrated by chronic patterns in  your relationship?

  • Looking for insight into WHY your someone you loves thinks,
    feels and acts the way they do?

  •  Ready for a quantum leap in how to connect?

The Enneagram is a map; YOU are the journey!

In the past thirty years, the Enneagram has gained a huge following of those seeking to understand themselves and their core motivations. In the realm of committed partnership, it is invaluable in supporting couples in seeing their inherent gifts and perpetual biases for what they are and finding true empathy for each others (sometimes wildly) different world views. When this occurs, polarized thinking softens and couples open to new levels of seeing each other. Compassion and awareness lead to new ways of supporting and loving each other.

The Enneagram for Relationships Course covers the basics of this ancient system, include the triadic distinctions, the nine Enneatypes, wings and arrows as well as the instinctual variants of each type. Working with whole-body meditation, self-inquiry, group activity and discussion as well as live coaching, each couple receives  information and practices to apply to their unique relationship configuration. In the full-length class, a private coaching session with Joy is also included support participants in deeper understanding of how to use this system for their personal application.

A Brief Overview of the Enneagram

  • A Profound Tool for Self-Understanding
    The Enneagram is based on an ancient and precise system of the core dynamics of Universal laws and how they are expressed by humanity. In the past 30 years, it has arisen in popularity as one the foremost maps of self-understanding. The Enneagram of personality types, as it is known today, gives a brilliant and detailed view of what happens to our Essential Nature as we incarnate and create an Ego structure to survive on this earthly plane.

  • A Dynamic Map of Nine Different “Types”
    “Ennea” is the Greek word for “nine,” so Enneagram roughly translates to “a nine diagram.” (see symbol at top of page). The organization of its principles are both simple and multi-faceted.  There are nine, wildly different styles of Egoic formation – or personality types- each with its own set of beliefs, fears, defense mechanisms, inherent challenges and essential qualities. When you discover your type, it sometimes feels like someone has been reading your mind, or at least your diary! Suddenly your personal quirks, communication style, values and gifts are articulated in such a precise and profound manner that it is difficult to deny. When we are able to appreciate each of the types through the larger lens of Universal Law as it manifests from Essence to our Humanity, we develop a deeper sense of trust in the inherent goodness of Life.

  • Worldviews Vs. Types
    Some people balk when they hear the word “type,” equating the word with a sense of confinement that limits, rather than expands, their notion of Self.  I would offer instead to consider the Enneagram a map, and the “types” represented on the maps as countries, each having its own, particular landscape and cultural identity. Just as the inhabitants of Africa have their own way of relating to the world that is uniquely different than say, the inhabitants of South America or Asia, so it is for the nine basic worldviews of each Enneatype. But to say, for example, all people of one type are the same is like saying that all the people from Italy are alike. Obviously, every Italian has their own, very unique, expression, yet it is still clear that they are Italian and always will be Italian, even if they move to Belgium! Like any system, the Enneagram can be misused. It is very tempting, especially when first immersing oneself in such a profound approach, to use the Enneagram as a template for reducing someone to a number with a pre-perceived meaning. Ouch. This ends up a disservice to both you and the person you’re labeling.

  • Self-Understanding, Distortions and Essence-based Living
    For many of us, there is an inherent desire to understand ourselves and the world around us. Self-understanding is the basis for transformation, yet we all have Egos that continually thwart our best efforts at expanding our sense of self. Transcending the ego is an aspect of every spiritual tradition. In order to understand who we really are, we must first understand the “false self.”  The beauty of the Enneagram is that it maps – sometimes in humbling detail – the perilous pitfalls and swamplands of our inner terrain so that we can truly SEE our personality and its holy grail of beliefs for what they are: Distortions of Reality. In identifying our particular trance of Ego, we invite inquiry into the deeper motivations of our soul’s Essence. The Enneagram offers a map that acknowledges the Essence from which our Egos were formed, illuminating how our personalities are, in their own distorted fashion, reminders of the Holy state of Existence from which we all began.

  • Shedding Light on Our Humanity
    In its optimal use, the Enneagram can shed light on the deep core beliefs that constantly inform and guide your thoughts, behaviors and actions. It is also a profound tool for developing insight and compassion for others as you learn to appreciate a worldview wildly different (or perhaps too uncomfortably familiar!) from your own. Such insights can support us in leading more fulfilling lives, of interacting with our friends and “enemies” in revolutionary new ways, of experiencing the grace of our Essential Selves a little more often.

  • Only a Map- YOU are the Journey!
    As stated though, the Enneagram is a tool, a mystical and practical map of human consciousness. As such, it offers guidance, but not the courage or will needed to do the inquiry and work required to see the truth about ourselves. That, of course, comes from within.

“Joy shares her (Enneagram) knowledge in a thorough and thoughtful way plus makes it fun to learn.  I was really able to feel the depth of her understanding of the material which is great, but more importantly she holds a safe and beautiful space for all to explore deeper within themselves and each other.  There is an honesty, openness and genuine caring about her style that was healing to be a part of and share together. “ ~ Julie Freed, Ashland, OR


“Wow! I LOVED Joy’s Enneagram couples’ class. Even my husband — who was reluctant and had to be cajoled into showing up — looked forward to our Thursday night sessions. Joy’s combination of intelligence, grace, and humor helped us “grok” and embody this wisdom in a deep, rich, lasting way. Although I have been studying the Enneagram for more than two years, Joy’s class series inspired me to new levels of understanding and application. I am very grateful for her care, sensitivity, and expertise. I highly recommend this or any of her classes to EVERYONE! “  ~ Kathryn Thomas, Ashland, OR




Comments (2)
  • Joanne Kliejunas Sep 8 2011 - 7:45 pm

    I’m hoping my husband and I will be able to join your Enneagram for Couples class, Joy. Can you give me times, etc.?

    Glad to read that your relationship practice is growing so fluidly!

    My toes still tingle, . . .

  • admin Sep 15 2011 - 6:07 pm

    Hi Joanna! Great to hear from you! The Enneagram class begins Wed, Oct 5th. I’ll give you a call about it soon!