Relationship Tips Blog

Relationship Tip #2


Building Your Ally “Ship”

308999_ship-of-loveLong-term partnering is a lot like an on-going high-seas adventure in your very own relation “ship.” And like a ship, your vessel has many compartments that hold the precious cargo of your combined lives: Family, friends, intimacy, play, work, home, finances, to name a few.

Take a moment to consider the current shape of your relation-ship. Is it a luxury liner or a battleship? Or perhaps it feels more like a remake of The Titanic?

If – and before – you find that your relation-ship is foundering, consider recommitting to an even larger container of Love known as allyship.

What is an ally?

An ally is someone who intuitively knows that their soul’s evolution is intrinsically woven with their partner and cherishes this sacred connection. When you commit to being an ally, and perceiving your partner one, you create a space for larger truths to be revealed. This can be helpful when petty truths (aka complaints, blaming) begin to permeate your daily lives. Principles of Healthy Allyship include:

• Trust your partner’s process


• See them in their wholeness

(esp. when they are fixated on a smaller version of themselves)


• Stay present when your partner is upset (do not fix, blame or coddle)


• Tell your truth, including the difficult ones


• Support them in following their truth (and follow your own)


• Embrace challenges as opportunities to grow


• Be more committed to your evolution – and theirs – than you are to old, defensive patterns


• Acknowledge & appreciate your ally often!

Imagine embodying these principles and living them. If your energy/vitality increases as you do so, then I invite your to try on the following Ally Commitment. Say it out loud, either alone or with your partner. Breathe after each time you say it, allowing the words to penetrate your being. Notice any resistances you may have and allow them to surface and be acknowledged. Take your time. Say it daily, both to yourself and your partner.

Remember, a commitment is not a platitude. It is a reflection of a core value that aligns us with a greater truth of our essence. It feels good when we align with this truth, that’s why we recommit to it, again and again.

Try it out and let me know what you experience!

From my heart to yours,

Joy ♥